Of the many strategies in the artistry of seduction, active listening and mindfulness is most crucial and decisive in this cognitive skillset.

SEDUCTION /// noun // si-ˈdək-shən /
: to persuade to disobedience or disloyalty
: the enticement of a person to sex
: something that seduces :temptation
: something that attracts or charms

Seduction is the deliberate enticement of a target to get what you want from them through giving (or seemingly giving) them what they want (or think they want). A desire to be heard and understood.

These wants and needs are always self-revealed, unwittingly or intently, you just have to listen.

Mindfulness is key. Paying attention to your target supersedes everything in the pursuit of seduction.

It should be obvious that you are listening, because you will be, but not to the point where the target is the center of your world, just the singular focus of the moment. Giving free and undivided attention to a speaker is paramount in effective communication.

This translates to comprehending their core and increases your engagement ability and influence.

When your target speaks, let them. Let them go on for as long as you feel it’s strategically necessary to speak yourself. Let them tell you how they feel, what they are thinking and most of all, what they want or need.

Know their desires and you can glimpse their heart.

See their heart and you can own them.

The art of seduction begins and relies on with being a most excellent listener, not moves and words of your own – that comes later after acquiring actionable intel from the seducee from their own moves and words.

Listen with the intent to understand, not the intent to reply.

-Dr. Stephen R. Covey

Encourage the target to talk about themselves, become genuinely and visually interested in the target, attempt to legitimately see things from the target’s perspective and be sympathetic to the target’s feelings and desires.

Active listening and meaningful mindfulness has 3 powerful impacts towards the directives of seduction:

     Attention // People naturally love and need to be heard, understood and appreciated.

     Attraction // Being a good listener makes you attractive and a person of value.

     Intel // The more the target speaks, the more usable information you obtain.

The sensation of being listened to is a powerful motivator and feeling enhancer to all people, it’s human nature. The more and better we are heard and understood, the more we are willing to (and want to) engage and respond.

This is why we befriend the ones that listen to us, buy from brands that hear us and fall in love with others that understand us. Listen, comprehend, seduce.

The ability to actively listen and comprehend another person is the most profound influencing tactic we can hone in communication, and therefore seduction.

Correlative to what I advised in ‘The Tactical Art of Stealth Cognizance’; remain relatively quiet, listen to everything, minimally reacting, understand their reasoning, never opposing, observe their reactions, calculate your own conclusions only after aligning with theirs then striking with finesse and power.

There are many paths of strategy and maneuvers for the end result of seduction but one is most essential and advantageous with active listening and comprehension:



With this, you increase your impact on a target for a more favorable and controlled outcome, through strategic engagements articulated just by listening.

The adept ability to listen with honest mindfulness creates opportunities to further utilize in seduction.

If seduction is the byproduct of influence, then influence is the synthesis of desire and comprehension; procured by listening to the target’s wants and ideas.

“Seduction is almost entirely listening.”     -John Cain

This behavioural strategy of attraction is effective in enhancing compliance and willingness with targets of any sex or age of most interpersonal situations.

So seduction through listening should not be limited to romantic endeavors, but applied to your overall skillset.

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  1. Lori Zabel Reply

    I absolutely love this one, your best piece in a long time John.

  2. Teddy Lelser Reply

    It’s kinda funny, my wife keeps telling me I don’t listen to her enough and that I just dont “get” her. Perhaps no I should listen more.

  3. “The best way to persuade people is with your ears – by listening to them.” -Dean Rusk

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